stupid articles, gyms, and whingeing bloody Kiwis

Publié le par chrislzh


So France is a target. Well, that seems surprising at first, but it's not really, what with France's bans on 'overt religious symbols' (meaning headscarves) in schools and it's rather friendly ties with its former colonies and its support for the Algerian government. France has been in the sights of Algerian militants for quite some time now.

But what really got me about this article was this paragraph:

"The expression crusader refers to medieval military campaigns waged in the name of Christendom to recapture the Holy Land from Muslims, and is frequently used in Islamist circles to designate enemies of Islam."

Oops, no, that's only a sentence, thanks to the NZ Herald's inability to distinguish between sentences and paragraphs. Whatever, it's simply astounding, this sentence. Has the entire Western world really sunk to such depths of ignorance that yet another article on The Threat of Islamic Terrorism really needs to explain the meaning of the word 'crusader'? Have our attention spans really been so thoroughly fried by cheap, lowest common denominator television that nobody remembers the uproar when Bush threatened to launch a crusade against terror five years ago?

Well, maybe the good folks at the Canterbury Rugby Union need to be educated, lest the Muslim population of Canterbury get the wrong idea..... But then again, they've been using the name Crusaders for years now and the local Muslims seem to accept it. And besides, nobody expects intelligence from rugby-heads.

Anyway, I just found it utterly astounding that anybody thought that sentence would need to be included in the article.

Well, I shouldn't be surprised, considering the NZ Herald for years now has been placing little summaries of the articles at the bottom of the article. That's an awkward sentence, but that's what they do. Obviously the editors don't expect their readers to remember anything about the article they've just finished reading, so they need a nice little summary to remind them in monosyllabic words that every six year old knows what they just read.

I'm going to be really pissed off if the print media suddenly decides to compete with TV for the title of "Medium that most failed to live up to its potential".

And in other news:

I went to the gym yesterday afternoon. I'm not hurting as much as I expected to this morning, though, which is good.

See, I used to be able to rely on my lifestyle for all the exercise I needed. For example, in Tianjin I would walk for at least an hour every work day. It was a half hour walk from the Foreign Teachers' Storage to school, and I walked to school and back every day. Actually, going back usually involved a detour to Ali Baba's, which meant walking even further. Yes, that meant a lot of beer was consumed, but somehow in the process I got all the exercise I needed and felt just as fit and healthy as I wanted to be. Not any more.

Out in Changping for the four days each week I was exiled there over the summer my spare time was spent sitting on my arse reading or writing long, rambling blog posts about nothing and drinking beer. Drinking, reading and writing do not count as exercise. This habit continued once I was allowed to settle here in Haidian. I haven't been feeling too good. But at the same time, I've had no motivation to get out and do stuff. Well, last Friday I did manage to drag my arse out of the house, and that was good, but by no means enough.

Anyway, one of my colleagues is fifteen years older than me, built like a brick shithouse, and is not fat. He spends a lot of time at the gym, and I figured if he could keep himself in such good shape, then he must know a lot about working out. So yesterday he took me to the gym and explained how all the machines work and what they do and gave me a few pointers on how to get the most out of them. Well, not all the machines. We only did weights yesterday, and focused purely on the upper body. But that's cool, it's a start.

And the gym also has Tae Kwan Do, Tai Ji, kung fu, and a bunch of other classes. And it's very, very affordable. So I signed up for a month, and if it works for me, then I'll sign on for a year.

And I'm sorry, but I have to rant some more:

"Petrol still too expensive, say motorists"

Oh, get hard you pack of losers.

The world's oil supplies are very, very limited. They wells will run dry one day, and that day isn't too far off. And the closer we get to that day, the more expensive oil will get.

So stop your whingeing, drag your fat, lazy arses out of your cars and learn to ride a bicycle or walk. Or at least by a hybrid or convert to biodiesel or some other alternative fuel or take public transport. Yeah, you know, like buses and trains and stuff.

And expensive petrol is a good thing because it encourages people to find more efficient, cheaper, environmentally friendly alternatives to getting around, like walking or cycling (both of which have the added benefit of giving you some exercise) or public transport. It also encourages people to switch to hybrids or alternative fuels. This encourages companies to improve public transport and invest in alternative fuel technologies. This is all good.

So stop your bloody whingeing, you pack of wankers.

Q: How do you know a planeload of Poms (English people) has landed?
A: The engines have stopped but the whining continues.

Honestly, if the plane landed in New Zealand these days, you wouldn't be able to tell, what with all the background whining coming from New Zealanders.

Publié dans chrislzh

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