more meaningless bollocks

Publié le par chrislzh

Something I forgot to add the other day:

For those of you who are familiar with the goodness that is 金百万/Jinbaiwan in Beijing, especially the super-goodness that is Jinbaiwan's 松俞西里 Songyu Xili (I may have the wrong character for 'yu'. Help.) branch, don't, absolutely do not under any circumstances ever even consider visiting the Jinbaiwan on 白堤路 here in Tianjin. The manager and staff of that place should be arrested for serious crimes against Chinese cuisine. Really. And for terminal stupidity causing needless frustration in what otherwise would be regular Jinbaiwan customers.

On Tuesday afternoon, when lzh was still on the super-slow train from Shanghai, I went to pay the deposit and collect the key for the 家庭旅馆 where we stayed, and in the process noticed a branch of Jinbaiwan just across from where we were staying. Remembering from when we lived in Songyu Xili how much lzh loves Jinbaiwan, and in particular their gongbao jiding, I decided I'd take her there for lunch on Wednesday.

Problem number 1: The menu was a stripped down, skeletal version of what we were used to from the Songyu Xili branch.
Problem number 2: The picture of gongbao jiding was in the menu, but the description had been covered with a sticker saying something like: "Sorry, but because we are stupid, incompetent fools with no taste in food and no ability to cook anything actually edible, we no longer serve this dish."
Problem number 3: The food that we did order was quite simply terrible. I could count the number of restaurants I've come across in all my six and almost a half years in China serving such inedible food on the fingers of one hand. I wouldn't even have fed that slop to my dog.
Problem number 4: The staff. You know that look of bovine stupidity you see in the eyes of people who ride their bicycles into rush hour traffic with their one and only grandchild on the back without bothering to look and then wonder why the traffic screeches to a halt around them with horns blaring and people hurling obscenities out the window? That's what we saw in the eyes of the staff. And their behaviour wasn't that much more intelligent than bungy jumping without a bungy cord.

On a more positive, and more important note:

Watched the All Blacks play Ireland yesterday afternoon. In fact, I dragged lzh down to Tianjin to watch the match at Ali Baba's because Ali Baba's is the last cool place I know to watch rugby. No way am I going to the Den. She didn't really pay much attention to the rugby, although she did occasionally laugh at the crazy shit rugby players get up to on the field (she thinks it looks like a bunch of teenage boys fighting over an oddly-shaped ball, which, if you think about it, is a fairly accurate description of the joy that is rugby) and swear at anybody wearing green who dared to throw a punch at anybody wearing black.

Well, we won of course. But Ireland gave us a fair run for our money. Which could be seen as a good thing: This could be a sign that Ireland is getting more competitive and playing better rugby. In fact, they did play pretty well. But it could also be a bad sign: The fact that Ireland came so close suggests that the All Blacks were probably not playing up to their full ability.

I was talking to an Aussie guy the other day who said New Zealand seemed to have peaked already, and this didn't bode well for the World Cup. I think he may have a point, based on what I saw yesterday, but it's early days yet. Or so we hope.

Y'know those heiche drivers outside Tianjin Zhan offering rides up to Beijing? Well, the regular ones who just offer you a ride to Beijing and then leave you alone if you ignore them or say "bu yao" are annoying, but I can deal with them. It's the ones who chase you saying shit like: "The next train's at 10:30, you'll have to wait an hour! Come on, get in my car!" who I can't stand. If I don't want to take your car to Beijing, then just leave me the fuck alone, alright? You don't convince me to get in your car by chasing me across the station forecourt, you only piss me off and convince me that you're too stupid to possess a driver's licence, let alone drive safely to Beijing, so just fuck off. Anyway, this morning as I was taking lzh to the train to head back to Beijing we were chased across the courtyard by one of these idiots, and as soon as I heard "The next train's at 10:30! You'll have to wait an hour!" I thought, right, I'm getting my own back, and I called back:

"真可怜!我需要等一个小时!我受不了!"

Alright, so if I were better at mocking or swearing at people off the top of my head, I would have said something that made a little more sense, but this was the best I could do on a split second. And it felt good, as it always does, to get sarcastic at all those pains in the arse who make railway stations even more difficult to deal with than the already are. And lzh laughed. Well, she did at first. Later she told me off. Apparently I should just say 'bu yao' or tell them I'm going somewhere else. But she's only been here a couple of times and doesn't understand that the people who chase you across the courtyard like that don't take anything other than 'Yes, I will get in your car immediately' for an answer unless you get nasty or sarcastic on them. Sometimes ignoring such people until I'm safely in the station is more than I can handle.

But sometimes even the arsehole appreciates the joke. Like once I told a taxi driver at Beijing Zhan: "我的名字不叫taxi." He looked confused, laughed, and wandered off. Or to the pedicab driver at Houhai: "我没有那么懒." He pedaled off laughing heartily.

Enough of this bollocks. Why are you still reading? Go do something productive.

Publié dans chrislzh

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